Thoughts of Sophie

Never Say Never

I often hear people say “I will never go there again”, “I will never talk to that person again”, and so on. These statements not only bring a lot of negativity to the one who says them but also those around them, too. Most of the time, people don’t even mean it when they say it. I can’t even count all those times I have said I will never do something and then I would find myself doing it, sometimes, even the next day. So, why do we keep saying that?

Well, first of all, when we are affected by a certain situation, we tend to express a strongly negative or a strongly positive reaction to it. So, if something bad has happened to us at a restaurant, for example, we might say that we will never go there again (until someone invites us and convinces us to give it another chance).

Another reason can be guilt. And here the situations may vary, it can be a food you ate too much of that you promise yourself to never buy again or something you said to a friend that has upset them and so on. Sometimes, guilt can make us do things we do not want and say things we do not mean.

And then we have hope. Yes, hope can be a very big influencer of such loud words as “never”. Usually, when we want to change something in our lives or our mind, we are hopeful for that change, so we forbid ourselves to go off that track and we label situations that might stay in the way of our success as “will never happen again”.

However, we should be open to every possibility in life. “Never” is a too strong word for literally anything because a lot of things happen in our lives which are out of our control and if we say “never” to them, there is a chance they will happen and then we will blame ourselves for that and we do not need that.

Also, our mind can be a little child from time to time and when it hears “never” it is all it can think about, but the other way round, it thinks that it must have it. I remember when I was fourteen there was a bakery right by my school with the most delicious cinnamon rolls and as a child with no self-control whatsoever, I used to buy and eat three and four of these daily.

Eventually, I realized that “treating” my body with that much sugar and bread was not healthy for me, so I decided to never buy those cinnamon rolls again. I can't even count how many times I was passing by this bakery wanting to buy all those pastries even though in my mind I knew I did not want them anymore, the fact that I forbade myself to buy them made it so hard. And that is only one example of my mind being a baby.

You cannot predict anything that is going to happen to you in your life and saying “never” to things means closing yourself from possibilities and holding yourself hostage in four walls. The only thing you can control is your mind and even that one can be so hard to work with sometimes, now imagine other people and life in general.

If something or someone bothers or affects you negatively and you want it to be out of your life just let it go and move on. The only time where you should use “never” is if it’s “never say never.”

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